Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Dear White People,

I say this because I care.

Don't ever fucking wear a khaki shirt with your khaki cargo pants. Especially when the shirt is long sleeved.

It makes you look like you've been up to some serious Silence Of The Lambs/Buffalo Bill shit.

Let's face it, no one wants to be friends with someone who looks like they are wearing someone else's skin.

You look naked and it's disgusting. It would be different if you actually were naked, but the fact that you choose to wear those clothes, makes you a terrible person. No one wants to think about the fat man you watched at the park for months just so you could lure him into your dungeon of a basement, force him to rub lotion onto his skin (at least your clothes aren't scaly and dry, I mean you did something right), starve him to death (a risky move by the way, what would you have done had he lost a ton of weight? He would be useless then, his form fitting skin would be unfit [no pun intended] for your new baggy birthday suit), and then fashion his skin into not just a pair a pants, but also a shirt, by; cutting here, hemming there, and applying zippers and buttons where needed.

Yours Truly,
Kyle Daniels

P.S.
YOU DON'T FUCKING LOOK OUTDOORSY.